Hyundai Veloster

What do you call a donkey with three legs?A Wonkey!

What do you call a car with three side-doors?

A Mini Clubman.

Or, now, a Hyundai Veloster.

There is a first drive report in the latest Top Gear Magazine which again sports a Seat ad on the back cover - normal service has been resumed.

So how does that work then?

Well, if you take a look at the driver's side...... you will see a quite attractive coupe. Hyundai have a history of providing cheap, attractive coupes amongst its range of cheap, unnattractive runabouts.

But look at the other side of the same car......and you see what looks like a compact five-door hatch. Even with the hidden Alfa 156-style door handles, it is obviously equipped with normal-sized, normally-hinged front and rear doors.

The car goes on sale here in the UK in November and should cost between £17000 and £20000 and, unlike the Mini Clubman, will not expect us to deposit our children into the path of traffic as the door configuration will be reversed for right-hand-drive markets.

It shouldn't really matter that either side will look different because, unless you park next to a big mirror, you will never see both sides at the same time - (this was also useful if you lost two wheel trims - you only ever had to buy two new ones even if they didn't match the existing ones because as long as they were on the same side of the car, nobody would be any the wiser)

This car will appeal to yummy mummies on a budget who like the idea of a coupe but want the practicality of a car they can get the children in and out of easily - it is a very good idea that could also have worked on the Range-Rover Evoque of which it has already been commented upon that the three-door is difficult to get in and out of the back of.

Now they just need to sort out the name - Veloster - are they trying to imply velocity? It will be starting with a 1.6 petrol engine which, although fast enough for any town-coupe, isn't a sporting tool. And "velo" to me implies bicycle. Will they call it that in France?

How about they call it The Hyundai Trois-Pattes-âne?

Fashion Victim

Citroën have released pictures of this freaky little Beach-Buggy-ish vehicle - a concept car in conjunction with Lacoste. Lacoste are obviously a fashion house/clothing company who presumably know very little about cars while Citroën presumably know bugger all about fashion and the resulting product would, I guess, appeal more to those wanting to make a fashion statement than those wanting to find a practical road transport. I think I used to have a Lacoste jumper in the late '80s when jumpers were fashionable (not that I ever was myself) and someone told me that the Lacoste crocodile logo used to change colour every year.

Mine never did.

Fashion and motoring have combined in special editions many times over the years. Off the top of my head I can recall a Mary Quant Mini (car not skirt) and Jeff Banks decorating a Kia for Matalan last year some time.

I was (briefly) surprised recently that Land-Rover brought in Victoria Beckham as a design consultant on the new Evoque model. I'm not a fan of the woman - she can barely sing, she tried to sue a football club for using the nickname "Posh" when they'd had it since formation 76 years ago and she does that funny walk that models do. Martine McCutcheon has started doing that walk too in her adverts for yoghurt-that-makes-women-poo-regularly. But, after thinking about it, Vicky B and women who aspire to be Vicky B are just the sort of women who are prospective buyers of an Evoque so there is some logic there. It's definitely labelling the Evoque as "a woman's car" though. Like the modern Beetle with its dashboard flower vase.

I don't know how much Jaguar/Land-Rover are paying her for her services but they have announced this week that they will be creating 1000 new jobs here on Merseyside as a direct result of the Evoque - I wonder if they need a Blogger?