404 Error

Actually, this is a 405 Error.  The Bristol 404 is smaller than the 405.

I'm not sure I should be commenting on this story because the Mail say "Sorry we are unable to accept comments for legal reasons."

The Evening Standard of London, from whom they admit they got the story, seem happy enough to take comments though.  Maybe they have better lawyers.

The story is actually about a lawyer - and, like those commenting within The Evening Standard, I have little sympathy for him.

Basically, the lawyer has bought one of these, a 405 saloon, for £20K...

...with the intention of paying £153K to Bristol for turning it into a 405D Drophead Coupe - ie one of these:

...with the addition of automatic transmission for good luck.

This was particularly bad luck for all concerned because it appears that Bristol don't have the expertise to perform these alterations.

So the lawyer took Bristol to Court for breach of contract (Bristol say they didn't sign any legal documentation) and the judge agreed with the lawyer.

I was always told that a verbal contract "wasn't worth the paper it wasn't signed on".

The lawyer is asking for up to £300K.

Not sure why, he's only shelled out £50K so far and I guess he still has the car.

The Evening Standard article contains a basic error as well that carries through to The Mail.  I thought it seemed strange that he would buy a car of which only 43 were built and then want to radically change it.  So I checked on Wikipedia.  Yes , I know - but I reckon this page was created by a car-nerd so will be right. 

There I found the 405 saloon picture that the Evening Standard had used plus the two pictures I have used

and I also found out that it was the Drophead Coupe that only 43 examples of were built - he was trying to create a 44th example.

I hope he doesn't get awarded big money - the decision will be next year but one of the reasons that Bristol no longer have the same expertise is redundancies after recovering from this.

Now, I wonder if anyone would be interested in turning a Peugeot 405 saloon:

into a Peugeot 405 coupe: 

Bet that wouldn't cost £153K

Clarkson et le Hamster Sont Interdits

I'm surprised not many sites have got this story.  None of the major newspapers have it, just a few motoring websites.

The story is this one:

It is from a Clarkson article so it will be in The Sun or The Sunday Times.

 

It will be hidden behind a paywall online but I wouldn't want to read either publication anyway since they are part of the odious Murdoch empire.

 

The gist of this is that Clarkson & Richard Hammond have been fined for speeding in France and banned from driving there for three months.

 

Being me, I am suspicious that if this happened, that it was just a publicity stunt for the DVD they were filming that will be out "just in time for Christmas" - the DVD that gets mentioned in the stories of the incident.

 

If it was though, it hasn't worked - yet.  Maybe it's just that nobody at The Mail has noticed it up to now.

 

They were doing 140kph in a 90kph zone that they claim to have thought was a 130kph zone.

 

There's no mention of James May - I guess Capitaine Lente would not have made that mistake.

Doncaster Rovers

...and other cars badly parked appear a lot in this Facebook site.  The Mail pointed me at it.

For those of you who don't know where Doncaster is, it's about 15 miles from Pontefract.

For those of you who haven't joined the Facebook revolution yet, here are the sort of pictures that appear:

...or a  not very smartly parked
Smart car.










I'm a little uneasy about pictures of Police Cars though - whoever parked this may be extremely lazy & selfish - or they may be on serious police business - or, in these modern day times maybe even disabled?

As ever, The Mail want to put their slant on things.  They start by asking "Are these Britain's worst drivers?"

No, although they may score badly as Britain's worst parkers.

They then have the following list:

• Facebook page shames dreadful parking in Doncaster
• It invites users to send in pictures of shoddily-placed cars
• Irate drivers often go on site to defend their parking
• Site also has a serious message about the dangers of blocked pavements

to which I say:

• True
• Yes, also true
• Not that I noticed
• Definitely not that I noticed

The Facebook page (entitled "Parking Like A Twat In Doncaster") has about 8500 likes including one from Metro's Car Blog - not bad considering it was only started this April.  It shouldn't be confused with, "Spotted :Parking Like a Twat" which seems to do the same job but more nationally and with added car crashes which is not the point of the exercise.  That site has over 55000 likes and only started last month.  Impressive but I think I'll stick with the original and best.  It does give you the option of having your badly-parked car removed from the site though - which Doncaster's doesn't seem to do.

Parking on the pavement seems to the current issue where I live where we have been treated to this story with this picture:

It comes with the caption, "Cllr Harry Smith ‘ticketing’ a car which is obstructing the pavement, forcing a young mum to push her buggy and child into the road."  Don't know the significance of it being a "young" mum - maybe older mothers have narrower pushchairs.  Cllr Harry Smith is clearly not a Tory councillor or he would be stood pointing at the gap between the car and the wall - or maybe the front of the car and the kerb.

 

Instead, he is placing a leaflet on the car that is designed to look like a parking ticket.

 

It was very fortunate for his argument that a badly-parked car was at the same place as a young mum and a photographer while he had some of those leaflets with him - and I bet the owner of that Mitsubishi is glad this didn't happen in Doncaster - he'd have looked a right twat.

Good Evans!

Looks like the Mail now has a new motoring correspondent - Chris Evans.  Don't worry if that video doesn't play - it'll be browser settings or something technical but you're not missing much.

I don't know if James "Formlia 1" Martin has got the push or not but, reading Chris Evans' first piece - a review of the Subaru BRZ - I don't think it will make much difference to me.

I like reading about cars and if The Mail want celebrities to write about cars, then it is best if they are petrol-heads but, unless there is an element of humour (like Alexei Sayle in the Telegraph - although I'll stop reading him after they disappear behind a paywall) then I prefer my articles to be written by motoring journos or racers.

Now, that's not to say he doesn't do a bad job, I'll certainly continue to read his pieces where I rarely read Martin's.  It is self-deprecating and there are a few interesting facts in there about Subaru - like Subaru is the Japanese name for the constellation Pleiades (or Seven Sisters) but only has six of them on its badge.

 So far, the Mail readers seem quite indifferent to Chris.

Two days later, there have only been 11 comments added to the article - they seem fairly evenly mixed about as to whether or not he is better than Martin and I'm ashamed to say that I have to agree with some Daily Mail readers - specifically the two who picked up on his use of the word "she" to describe the car.

"It" - the word is "It", not "she!"

That story has still achieved 11 more comments than this one that has been up for four days but that may be because

"We are no longer accepting comments on this article."  I suspect that they never started accepting comments on the article - that way, some of the more homophobic Mail readers would not get a chance to air their prejudices.

 

This is the story of Karis Smith, pictured right, who bears a striking facial resemblance to Michael McIntyre and happens to be a lesbian.

 

Why is that relevant?

 

The Michael McIntyre bit isn't but the lesbian bit is.

 

Karis has started up a driving school in Manchester that is gay-friendly after hearing various tales of unfriendly and downright discriminatory treatment meted out by certain driving instructors.  It seems that transgender learners had particular problems feeling they were expected to explain their gender and sexuality.

 

The article continues "Some of the complaints made to Karis were issues such as constantly having to use ‘non-gender’ pronouns when chatting with their instructor, mentioning their 'partner' rather than girlfriend or boyfriend."

 

This is when you can use words like "she".

Independent Suspension (of Belief)

After my recent rants about Telegraph & Mail readers, I think I've found another group who are worse - Independent readers. Now the Independent isn't a right-wing rag - it's relatively neutral with Liberal overtones so you'd expect its readers to be calmer and more rational.

No such luck!

Maybe its middle-of-the-roadness means that supporters of both ends of the political spectrum will read it - and then end up arguing with each other.

This week's topic for discussion is 20mph zones. They started with this story backed up by a survey commissioned by The Independent about how people agree with these zones. Unfortunately, any survey that has been commissioned by an organisation will generally ask questions in a way to back up whatever results that organisation wants to hear so I suspect The Independent want more of these 20mph zones.

Anyway, whatever the case, the readers arguments soon break down to nothing constructive with anti-zoners coming up with "Perhaps we should bring back the original 4mph limit? Complete with the man holding a flag, walking ahead of the car?" followed by pro-zoners coming up with "Or maybe we should all drive flat-out with no limits whatsoever?" Look, if you can't add anything constructive to an argument, don't add anything at all - I wonder if that's why nobody ever comments on my postings? :)

That was Monday, and also on Monday we were given a bit more evidence of The Independent's view when this appeared. It is a very short "comment" article by someone who I presume is an Independent writer called Jonathan Brown. It has the title "The 20mph limit makes streets safer, so why not enforce it?" which may be debatable (ask the ABD - I'm coming to them shortly) followed by the subtitle "As a cyclist and father of two young children I am all in favour of putting people above cars" which implies that anyone not in favour of these zones puts cars above people - a ludicrous statement that makes me not want to bother with the rest of his article - and I speak as a cyclist and father of two youngish children - aren't all children "young" anyway? - that's the definition of being a child?

Well I did read it - it didn't take long and what I learned was that he'd been driving past "signs every few hundred yards" while "driving through the area at least three or four times a week" without being aware of them! No wonder he's in favour of slowing down, what chance to pedestrians have when he's behind the wheel?

The article also told me that "compliance is entirely optional" - I was always taught that a red circle sign was compulsorially to be obeyed - this is good news that I don't need to worry about these pesky 20 zones - makes you wonder why they're there really, doesn't it?

Tuesday saw another article, this time giving the other side of the story. It was entitled "Drivers predicted to lash out at 20mph slowdown zones" It leads with the statement "Motoring organisations hit back at the spread of 20mph speed zones which they claim could make exasperated motorists drive badly." Note the use of the plural there - motoring organisations. So which motoring organisations are we talking about here? - The AA and RAC are the obvious ones - or the IAM?

No, the ABD.

Who?

The ABD - I told you I'd get to them. Keith Peat, spokesman for Alliance of British Drivers and former traffic policeman said: “20mph zones will be counterproductive and create more accidents. What you’ll get is drivers driving to the speedometer. It’s safer that drivers drive to what they’re seeing outside the car and not to what their speed needle is saying.”

Sounds fair enough - and he is a former traffic policeman so he ought to know what he's on about?

Until you actually think about it - we've already been told that these zones are not being enforced - and it's not that difficult to knock it down a gear or two and drive slower while still judging your speed reasonably accurately.

Then look further at the ABD. If you look at the IAM's news page, you get a series of sensible, campaigning, safety-related articles. If you look at the ABD's news page, you get a list of Twitter links to articles where people are angry about parking abuses or that the Russians can clear a road quicker than us or just gloating that the Scottish Police didn't sell any seized cars. This seems to be a bad link on their site, they need to re-point their news index - but it does indicate that the ABD are the Daily Mail readers of the car world. Their Press Releases section is a mixture of the sensible and the scaremongering.

So where does that leave us in the 20mph Zone debate?

Where I live was designated a 20mph Zone a couple of years back. There were signs put up but they were not the red circle type and they were put up too high to be easily noticeable to your average motorist travelling at 30. There was also no publicity that I saw in the local press. I went out to take a photo of one of these signs today and it was gone - as were all of the others in the vicinity. They must have been removed as quietly as they were put up - and nobody seems to have noticed.

20mph Zones do not seem to be the answer to anything but the debate does need to happen - between sensible and informed people - and not in The Independent.

Driveways (or Ways to Drive Daily Mail Readers Mad)

The Mail are throwing some shocking statistics at us today. Apparently "The number of households with four or more cars has soared by 51 per cent to nearly half a million over the past decade."

So now "Families with four or more cars now account for nearly 1 in 50 of all households"

Scary eh? That means we are now down to just over 98% of households that don't have four or more cars. And given that some of those with four or more cars will be Richard Hammond, Wayne Rooney, Chris Evans and the like - I don't think we should be panicking just yet.

So it's another non-story from the Mail with a picture that bears no relevance to the non-story:

Those children aren't old enough to drive, let alone clog up the driveway with cars. The driver is, I think, a man. It's hard to tell from that photo but the front-seat passenger is definitely female. I can't imagine the Mail would be promoting a lesbian family scenario so I'll assume it is a bloke. Why am I bothered about the sex of the driver? I'm not really, except the bloke who wrote the article seems to be blaming the increase in the number of working women and, therefore, women drivers for the extra driveway congestion.

Pillock.

Some of The Mail readers' comments are just as daft but, to fair, the daftest ones are receiving the most red down-arrows and the least daft are receiving the most green up-arrows.

The dubious one I have picked out is from K.Sera of London who tells us, "I have Range Rover, Maserati and several motorbikes in my garage, but I usually walk or hop on the tube. Taxis for nights out. But if I need to drive somewhere, I know I have transport. So, despite having several vehicles, I hardly drive. When I had just one car, years ago, I used to drive all the time."

Assuming he's telling the truth (which I don't) why mention it if he only has two cars?

Pillock.

Anyway, this is nothing new. Even back in the 1970s, your average Daily Mail reader was being disturbed while trying to enjoy a quiet Sunday morning washing his Austin Maxi:

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Left, Right?

Back at the start of Summer, I posted about Alexei Sayle becoming a motoring correspondent with The Daily Telegraph.I think I don't particularly like his motoring writing - his latest piece, on the Paris Motor Show, is quite short and quite vague. It does, however, really wind up a small number of Telegraph readers who like to vent their spleen in the comments section. This amuses me very much and I enjoy their annoyance.

I have made the point myself in the past that the better motoring columns tend to be found in the more obnoxious right-wing media - Fox News, The Telegraph and The Mail.

But, then again, I hadn't really looked in the left-wing media.

So I took a look in The Mirror.

I did find two of my favourite correspondents, Richard Hammond & Quentin Willson. But overall, it is quite a disappointing site and very rarely updated - it's had the same couple of stories including one about an electric car called "The Lightning" on its header for at least three weeks now - and some very intrusive advertising.

Socialist Worker doesn't appear to have a motoring section.

I think they should.

Now, who on Earth could they possibly get to be their star guest motoring correspondent?

The Worst Time to Have a Heart Attack is During a Game of Charades

That's my favourite joke from this nice (for once) Daily Mail story.

The story is how the management and staff of Westgate multi-story car park in Leeds are cheering up their customers with amusing quotes, sweets, competitions and, mostly, with jokes displayed in the stairwells.

The Mail, being The Mail, has to comment that some of the jokes are politically incorrect - something they are very much in favour of - and seeing as how they don't seem too politically incorrect, I can quite happily live with too.

Lots of the jokes are in the style of (or nicked from) Tim Vine and Milton Jones - two of my favourite comedians. But another favourite comedian, and Lionel Messi look-a-like, Canadian comedian Stewart Francis, is the one who I reckon is being mostly plagiarised.

The joke in the story about the '70s Karaoke Bar is one of his - as is this one which they haven't used but I just like:
"Standing in the park, I was wondering why a frisbee looks larger the closer it gets...then it hit me"

The most relevant one though is this one of Tim Vine's:
"Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels."

The word "Gullible" isn't in the Dictionary

I wish I didn't have to keep reading the Online versions of The Mail, The Telegraph and Fox News - trouble is they often have quite interesting articles in their motoring sections.

This Mail story though, is just in the ordinary news section - it isn't really news - not even motoring or business - I guess they were getting desperate while Parliament is shut and the Olympics are over. At least it bears some truth - there are a lot of gullible/superstitious people out there - and many will read The Mail. Their story I picked up on last week was just nonsense.

anyway, back to this week's nonsense. They claim that people will be reluctant to buy a new car next March because it will have a "13" number plate and 13 is an unlucky number. If people are that superstitious, then they should just buy the car in February or wait until September for the 63-Plates or shell out and get a Private Plate - maybe CRA5H.I'll be looking forward to picking up a 13-Reg bargain a few years down the line - like most people born under the sign of Virgo, I don't go for all this bad luck/astrology bunkum. If you don't believe me, check out my home address:

More Olympic Mindgames

Don't know what the The Daily Mail and its online version are up to. They seem to be trying to undermine the British Olympic athletes and make up new ones at the same time.

Last week, they were having a go at Zara Philips for only coming second! - the paper's front page was worse and that was after attacking the Opening Ceremony. One of my Facebook friends found that - I bet Fox News were having similar thoughts - another odious, right-wing, propaganda-and-half-truths media organisation.

Next, although admittedly (presumably) with her consent (to promote her autobiography), they've got Victoria Pendleton down as some sort of scheming, womanising, ruthless person.

Today, however, they have a story about another Olympic Gold Medal winner - 30 year-old Elizabeth ‘Betty’ Haig, or, more specifically, her 1.5 litre Singer Le Mans sports car - were you worried that this post wasn't getting car-related?That's not her in the photo, by the way, that's some woman who works for The Savoy - it is the car, though.

The story tells of how they crossed Europe battling border-guards to win the Motor-Rally Gold - beating those nasty BMWs into the bargain - it doesn't actually say that last bit but that is definitely what the writer is thinking.

Anyway, quite an interesting story.

Pity I don't believe it.

I can't find any evidence of a Motor Rally Gold medal at the 1936 Olympic Games. Even the official Olympic Website doesn't mention it - Britain only won four Golds that year - not like this year eh!?

Apparently, motorsport was a demonstration event in the 1900 Olympics - maybe they should reinstate it - Britain does particularly well at sports where you compete sitting down.

They did have some "Art" Gold Medals in 1936. Maybe that is where the Mail is getting confused, although it was an Italian, not a Brit who won gold for his "Sulky Driver":That is a statue of a man driving a two-wheeled cart called a "Sulky" - it's not an Audi driver who has got a gob on.

Like the Mail story I commented on last month, this Mail story also goes on to shoot off at a tangent. Last month's went off on a rant about BMWs, this one's gone with Sat-Navs.

Maybe they should try for a shooting Gold.

Right-Wing Rubbish

Autoguide news pointed me this morning back to our own Daily Mail and a story about Jeremy Clarkson being racist about Lenny Henry. Being American, they had to explain who Lenny Henry is. For those who don't know, I shall also explain who Lenny Henry is.

He is a very talented comedian/writer/actor from the West Midlands of England:Who also happens to be black.

The Daily Mail is accusing Jeremy of racism due to an article he wrote about how eco-friendly TVs can be set so dim that everyone looks like "Lenny Henry in a cave"

I don't know if he was being racist or not - I know he always tries to find funny analogies for everything and if they are going to be controversial - then all the better. This is why he keeps ending up in trouble. I know that I find him very funny.

"Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear, I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off, which it would."

"We all know that small cars are good for us. But so is cod liver oil. And jogging."

"The Ferrari 355 is like a quail's egg dipped in celery salt and served in Julia Roberts' belly button."

I got those off a Clarkson fansite.

The Daily Mail is a horrible, right-wing, muckraking rag read by people who will gullibly take in all the propaganda it reports. But those people will agree with Jeremy who can only be described as very right of centre. So they won't have a lot of sympathy with their own newspaper here - the comments under the story seem to back this up. The story uses a VC-winning soldier who was offended by the article (good, typical Daily Mail fodder) and who also happens to be black.(Oops)

I think the result was right but for the wrong reasons - it was the old Alf Garnett effect - you're supposed to laugh at him, not with him.

So why pick on Jeremy anyway?

Could it be because he writes for different right-wing rags, The Sun and The Sunday Times? These are part of the awful Murdoch Empire and I would love to see them go the same way as "The News of the World" - it's the end of The World as we know it.

The Mail won't mention the competition, but it must have been one of these papers that Clarkson wrote the offending article in.

May, meanwhile, writes for yet another right-wing rag, The Telegraph - why do all the interesting people write for right-wing rubbish?

Oh yes - money!

Anyway, has anyone asked Lenny Henry what he thinks about all this? Maybe he isn't even aware of the story - I doubt if he bothers with The Sun or The Daily Mail or autoguide.com or Metro's Car Blog. If he does know about it, he is keeping a dignified silence - there's no mention on his Website and although there are a couple of Twitter accounts purporting to be him - I don't believe he actually is a Twitterererer.

As you may be able to guess, I'm not a fan of the right-wing press - but they are diametrically opposed to what I believe in. I'm not afraid to use the word "Socialist" - I know many Americans are - it would be suicide for an American politician to use it - but I know the difference between Socialist and Communist.

And I also envy places like Sweden where people are richer, happier, have a better standard of life and more choice. Yes, everything is more expensive there and they pay more taxes and foreign tourists will be put off, but the Swedes themselves can afford stuff because they don't have to pay extra for their public facilities and they earn more anyway.

Pity the left-wing press is crap too.

They're up for Contempt of Court over that coverage which hounded a man that they had decided at the time was a murderer but, given that someone else has been charged in the meantime, is almost certainly completely innocent.