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I Want That Car

The second episode of I Want That Car was broadcast on ITV4 last night. 

 

It is ITV's new "Daisybeck Productions give you a male motoring journo & female racer presenting a show giving punters a choice of 3 cars to buy and after test-driving 2 of them they have to select one to purchase while telling you a bit about them and trying to get a good deal off the unseen seller while the car's number plate is covered with the initials of the programme" show.

 

I watched the first one last week and found it irritating but decided to give it another go.

 

This week, I still found it irritating.

 

It could be the music.

 

It could be the fact they go to a racing circuit to do the show while racing is going on but just show little clips of the same racing cars over and over again in the middle of the main element of the show.

 

But I think it's probably the presenters. 

Rebecca Jackson makes big deal of how she is a used car expert (a saleswoman perhaps? - after I suggested they may not exist - no, an "expert" - although judging by her own website, she's only sold one car) and how she races Porsche Boxsters - but she only looks 15 - and she and the cameraman refuse to stand still when she is doing her pieces to camera.  And she's overly enthusiastic.

Mat Watson, meanwhile, works for Auto Express.

He comes over as too chummy and his Brummie accent keeps slipping in and out.  He likes the punters to "floor it" on the test drives and then states that they didn't go over the speed limits.  I wonder if the producer was involved in making that statement.

 

At this point, I suppose, I'd have to admit that I'd be crap at presenting a motoring show, especially if I was an unknown - I'd feel awkward pretending that everyone should just accept me straight off and at least these two do have the right professional backgrounds.

 

But I'm not presenting a motoring show and they are.

 

The show doesn't even have its own Website.  The nearest is this which is really looking for people to take part in it.  They do have a Facebook page which doesn't have many contributions apart from themselves looking for people to take part.  The couple of people who have commented are mixed on the show but one person thinks it is better than Top Gear - idiot!

 

They also have a Twitter feed which doesn't have many contributions apart from themselves looking for people to take part. The couple of people who have commented are a bit pro the show but one person thinks it is better than Top Gear - idiot!

 

The first show consisted of a bloke who used to own a Lotus (we don't know what happened to it) looking for a suitable sporty replacement - he is offered a TT, an Abarth (sporty Fiat 500) and a Porsche Boxster - he chooses the Porsche.

 

The second show consisted of a bloke after a classic.  He is offered a Mini, an MGB and a Porsche 911 Carrera Targa - he chooses the Porsche.

 

Actually, I think I've worked out what irritates me the most, and why I probably won't bother watching the rest of the series - it is because it isn't Used Car Roadshow.  If you aren't sure what Used Car Roadshow was, it was ITV's "Daisybeck Productions give you a male motoring journo & female racer presenting a show giving punters a choice of 3 cars to buy and after test-driving 2 of them they have to select one to purchase while telling you a bit about them and trying to get a good deal off the unseen seller while the car's number plate is covered with the initials of the programme" show.

Lots Of Trouble - Usually Serious

That was the old acronym for Lotus, given that the old Esprits and Eclats were never the most reliable of cars - much smoke and oil-leakage would often ensue.

They seem to have sorted their engines out nowadays so we can use the acronym to describe the wranglings going on in their F1 ambitions instead.

Last month, I gave my take on how I understood the sitiuation to be.

Today, the BBC business department have kindly clarified things.

I'm very optimistic about what the new Lotus boss, Dany Bahar, is doing and what he wants to do with the brand - he's already announced a series of five new cars over the next couple of years - and, most importantly, their names all begin with the letter E.

But this is a big gamble for Lotus and I think he's missing a serious trick by getting involved in F1. It will be bloody expensive and it will be linking Lotus with Renault - another Company who have had vehicle reliability issues in the past.

By leaving Tony Fernandes to continue with his plans, Lotus get a load of free publicity (albeit with a less successful and less attractive car) - expensive Court time and bad publicity are avoided and there is a lot more cash available to keep the road car business going while the new models are introduced.

Oops, I've just noticed that I've accidentally put up a picture of Dany Behr - silly me! Here's Dany Bahar:








Oh well - third time lucky:

That's better.

Was Chris Hughton Sleeping with Mike Ashley's Wife?

No. Mike Ashley is divorced so he doesn't have a wife. So that can't be the explanation for his sudden sacking as Newcastle United manager this week. No, the straightforward answer is that Mike Ashley must be an idiot.

If only everything in sport was nice and straightforward like that.

Take Formula 1 for instance.

For a couple of seasons now, we have two teams sponsored by Red Bull, there's Red Bull and Toro Rosso (which happens to be Italian for "Red Bull") - one uses Renault engines, one uses Ferrari engines. Renault meanwhile had their own team powered by a Renault engine - but then again, they sold their stakes in their team so the Renault team isn't really the Renault team at all, it just had their name and their engine - they also had sponsorship from Lada and a Russian driver - but then again, Renault own a bit of Lada. Meanwhile, Lotus, who are owned by Proton, also rejoined F1 in 2010 using an attractive green livery and a quite unsuccessful car.

Renault and Lotus were both successful during my favourite F1 period from the late '70s into the early '90s with lovely looking cars such as these...It was announced today, though, that Group Lotus has joined F1. Does that mean the existing Lotus team has been renamed?

Does it buggery!

Well, actually it has been renamed to Team Lotus, but that isn't to be confused with Group Lotus who will own the team but also own "Lotus Renault GP" which is what the old Renault-but-not-owned-by-Renault team will be known as..

I think.

So, we'll end up with four Loti (James Hunt invented the word "Loti" as plural of Lotus - I invented the word "Double-decker-bi" as plural of Double-Decker bus), four Red Bulls, two McLarens and two Mercedes, as opposed to two McLaren-Mercedes as we had before 2010, two Ferraris (but at least four Ferrari engines) and Lord knows what other combination of Hispanias, Williams, Saubers and the like.

I think I know which will be the best looking cars on the grid though...

Attack of the Clones

This morning, as I often do, I clicked on Autocar Car News. The coffee hadn't quite kicked in so, looking at these accompanying pictures, I thought the first two stories were going to be about Hyundai and Mitsubishi.



















Only problem is, the first picture wasn't of a Hyundai i-30 like this one...




...but, in fact, the new 2011 Ford Focus. What on earth are Ford playing at? They are supposed to lead the way in design.

Similarly, Audi seem to be copying Lotus in copying Mitsubishi as I reported a while back.

Or is it me?

I often say things like "Doesn't that woman in Tescos look like such an actress?" or "Doesn't that policeman look like your Aunty Maud?" and I usually get the same response...


No.

Lotus Global Small Car

Auto Express have this story today. Due for unveiling at the Paris Motor Show, this is a hybrid electric/1.2 petrol capable of 100mpg but there's no indication of mph. It will be available as a five-door Proton in Malaysia and a three-door sporty Lotus elsewhere.

I think I like the look of it but it also reminds me strongly of the Mitsubishi Colt...

Can't help thinking it'll need a better name though.