Driven to Drink

Is it really 10 years since Alastair Stewart was sacked as presenter of Police Camera Action after being caught drink-driving?

Yes.

Nobody should drink-drive - but most people convicted will quietly go to Court, get fined and banned and quietly go away without anyone really noticing.

Some people though, like Alistair, may just attract a bit of attention.

The woman in this story for example.  She is a lawyer, who, according to her own firm's Website, "has a vast knowledge in relation to the offence of Drink Driving. She has won many cases using the many procedural defences available that can arise if the police fail to deal with clients at the roadside and/or in the police station correctly."  I've cut-and-pasted that directly from the site because I wouldn't be surprised if they change that bit soon.

Maybe she should have defended herself.

Or paid for this bloke.  Yes, I know that's a Wikipedia link but, today at least, everything seems to check out in it.  Nick Freeman - aka Mr.Loophole ("Mr Whiplash" would be funnier) is fairly famous for getting celebrities (including Jeremy Clarkson & Tiff Needell) cleared of motoring offences - often on technicalities.  I'm put off lawyers at the best of times - possibly because of the annoying multitude of injury lawyer adverts encouraging people to sue for the stupidest of things - there's one where a workman says "my company gave me the wrong sort of ladder" - well you should know the difference you moron.  I also object to my motor insurance premium increasing to pay for fictitious whiplash claims - I could have made one myself last year when I was rear-ended but I won't because I'm basically honest.

So, what's the moral of all this?

Don't drink and drive.

Unless you're somewhere safe and outside the jurisdiction of the law.

Cheers!

Irishman Drives to a Bar...

Thanks to The BBC for this story which pointed me to this story from The Irish Journal which tells us that "Kerry County Councillors have voted in favour of a motion which would allow people in rural Ireland to have ‘two or three’ drinks and still drive."

Actually only five voted in favour - three voted against, seven abstained and twelve were absent so it was passed with about 18% support.

I guess this guy will be happy:

Lots of other people don't seem so sure though.

The main advocate for this move, Councillor Danny Healy-Rae, who proposed the motion, said it would apply to "older people" who "are being isolated now at home, and a lot of them falling into depression." Hmmmm. Drinkaware.co.uk tell us that "Alcohol alters the brain’s chemistry and increases the risk of depression." So surely the advice to these older people should be go out and have some non-alcoholic drinks.

Now to be fair to Danny-Boy and his four chums who voted with him, he's not saying they should go out and get absolutely ratted and then drive home, he is advocating a higher drink-drive limit for them.

It's still a major step backwards though and the more you think about it, the more non-sensical it seems. For example, would the Garda have to stop everyone they see driving away from the pub and take them in for blood tests after they fail a breathalyzer test to determine what limit they are at?

So why pass this anyway? Looks like the majority of the five are publicans. Here's the pub Danny runs:

Still, what could possibly go wrong?

Classic Car Rescue

Since Channel 5 lost Fifth Gear to Discovery UK, they have obviously needed something else to fill that gap and they have come up with Classic Car Rescue.

It's on a Monday evening at 8pm (9pm Channel 5+1 Time) We are now half-way through the series.

In this Blog, I will review the show in the style of…the show. You will read me giving my opinions of the bust-ups and the work that goes on in restoring some classic motors from the past, turning them from barely scrap value to (literally) prize condition. I will comment about how Cockney mechanic Bernie Fineman has teamed up with Canadian Car Salesman Mario Pacione (no, I hadn’t a clue about him either) to buy and restore classic cars such as the E-Type Jag and an MGB GT. I’ll also tell you about their very contrived arguments and apparently catastrophic set-backs.

I was fully aware of Bernie Fineman from his previous work on Bangla Bangers and Chop Shop, London Garage – a couple of Channel 4 series where he was teamed up with a Bangladeshi designer so that they could have very fake arguments and produce some impressive-looking motors. I had never heard of Mario Pacione and wouldn’t be surprised if Bernie hadn’t either before he was teamed up with him to make this series.

This series is definitely more of the same except the arguments seem even more fake.

Each episode starts with them deciding what make of classic car to restore – so far we’ve had an E-Type, a Porsche 911 and an MGB and next week, it’s a Mustang. Once the car has been decided upon, Bernie will go out and about and try to find one. First, he will succeed in finding one that is a complete mess that the seller wants far too much money for. Bernie will then succeed in finding another one that is also a mess. He will then buy that one at a price that either he or Mario is not happy with. We will then be told how much it will cost to restore the car and that, to keep down costs, Bernie’s team of mechanics will be given a very, very short time period in which to do it.

Both partners will go out and source some spare or replacement parts from some local Cockney and/or Asian characters. Would it be wrong to call this ethnic group Cockasians?

Then it’s time for a near disaster followed by one of the partners (usually Mario) doing something really stupid and the other partner shouting at him, then storming off.

Next we get the good bit of the show – a look at the actual restoration work interspersed with a few interesting facts and figures about the history and manufacture of the featured car.

Now it’s time for a break – this Blog is sponsored by Adrian Flux Insurance – at least I wish it was – I could do with the cash. After the break, I’ll tell you about the door-slamming and how a posh bloke will value the car at more than was spent on it. There’s also a chance to win a copy of the finished Blog.Adrian Flux – for all your insurance needs – I’d like them to sponsor my Blog now please.

In the first part of this Blog, we learned that Cockney mechanic Bernie Fineman has teamed up with Canadian Car Salesman Mario Pacione to buy and restore classic cars. We know Bernie buys a classic car in need of much work and gives his team a very short timescale to complete it. Some parts will have been purchased and Bernie will then have had a contrived argument with Mario and one of them will have stormed off, slamming a door very loudly behind him.

We then see the conclusion of the restoration including the paint-job and the electrics. This is very reminiscent of American Hot-Rod and the whole series does have a strong American Hot-Rod vibe. Which is good. Mostly.

Each episode ends with a professional car valuer turning up in his BMW 850 and telling them what he believes the restored car to be worth. It’s been a respectable profit each time so far. The production company then presumably buy the car and give it away to the winner of an expensive-to-enter competition.

So, it’s a case of enjoyable car bits, and very irritating fake bits – like American Hot-Rod. Now, if you would like to win* a copy of this Blog, just answer this easy question and transfer £1.50 into my bank account:

What is Bernie Fineman’s surname?
A: FINEMAN
B: JONES
C: £1.50

*Terms and conditions apply – the main one being that this isn’t a real competition.

Drink-Driving Caused This...

If the 23 year-old owner of this Mitsubishi Evo (for that is what this yellow car iswas) had known what was going to happen - I'm sure he'd have stuck to the lemonade (assuming he actually is guilty - he's only "suspected" at the moment)

The only problem is - it wasn't him who did this - it was the police officers who arrested him. In such cases, they are supposed to organise a recovery vehicle to come and remove the vehicle of an alleged offender. In this case, they decided to take it for a spin themselves - literally. Oops.

The full story is on BBC News here. Greater Manchester Police have said they will pay for the damage caused to the properties but what about the car? It wouldn't be insured because it was being driven unlawfully and without permission. Will anyone be able to sue anyone? Will that bloke who played a dodgy copper in The Bill and now claims to be an injury lawyer get involved?

Swan Blames Cat for Drink-Driving

I deliberately spelt "Swann" wrong there to make the title better. The BBC News story is actually about England Cricketer Graeme Swann who claims to have been on the way to Asda to buy some screwdrivers to free his cat which had become trapped under the floorboards of his home. Seems a bit far-fetched to me - last time I took up floorboards they weren't screwed down so I needed a crowbar and one of those bolster chisel thingies and a hammer. And who doesn't already have screwdrivers anyway?

He was a bit unlucky in that he was only just over the limit - 83mg where 80mg is the legal limit but over the limit is over the limit. I guess he can afford fancy lawyers to try and get him off on a technicality - or am I just being cynical?

Anyway, I'll follow this with a tiny bit of interest - and next week, it's George Michael's turn.